Finding The Perfect Ending: Doug’s Hospice Story

Caring for a loved one is fueled by passion, so when it's time to consider hospice care, it's never an easy choice. Even so, making that choice with the Franciscan Hospice House results in a dedicated team that makes the remaining time with loved ones as direct, confident and comforting as possible.

Hospice recognizes dying as a natural process that neither hastens nor postpones death. With Franciscan Health, hospice exists in the belief that loving care will help patients and families remain in control of their lives. It can emotionally and spiritually prepare one for death when curative treatment is no longer possible.

Retired dentist Doug Harty and his family made a decision to have his 88-year-old mother, Jane, rest peacefully at the Franciscan Hospice House in Indianapolis. See how his family remained close and confident after their decision.

'I Couldn't Believe What I Was Seeing'

As his mother's health continued to fall, Doug Harty and his family were preparing for updates on her condition and what's next for them.

"If there's one thing you can say about my mom is she was generous beyond words, just a lovely person," Doug said.

Doug's mother lived with nodules on her lungs, but when she had a CT due to her breathing troubles, they discovered she had the flu.

"One of the nodules had grown from virtually nothing to three quarters of an inch in less than a year," he said. "When the MRI came back, I took a look, and I couldn't believe what I was seeing."

Harty recognized that something was wrong with what they saw. The image showed that his mother had cancer all over her spine.

'We Were Absolutely Blown Away By The Beauty'

Following a review of Jane's imaging and her condition during the last three days at home, they started to consider the Franciscan Hospice House.

"When we first started hospice, the social workers came in and gave us a tour of the Hospice House beforehand since we were wondering if that's where we want to go," Doug said. "When my wife and I walked, in we were absolutely blown away by the beauty of it."

Doug and his wife noticed how quiet, calm and decorated the Hospice House was during their tour.

"Just everything about it was just peaceful and beautiful," he said. "Then they took us into one of the rooms, and it could not have been any better."

Following the tour, the nurse and an ambulance transported his mother to the Hospice House.

"We followed the ambulance over and by the time we got there, they already had her in the bed and she looked comfortable," Doug said.

Doug explained that they also spent time enjoying the beauty of the garden and other locations at the Franciscan Hospice House.

"The doors and windows towards the garden were the most peaceful thing for her when she was awake to look outside," he said. "I just cannot say enough wonderful things about the Hospice House and about hospice in general. The Hospice House was just perfect."

Along with the garden, the Franciscan Hospice House also includes pet, music and massage therapy. These features provide loving comfort and an engaging environment for patients and their families. Franciscan bereavement care begins when a patient is admitted to Hospice House, and it continues its full supportive service to the hospice patient's family at no cost.

'It Was A Perfect Ending'

Staff at the Franciscan Hospice House provide around-the-clock care, including physicians, skilled nurses, certified hospice aides, social workers, counselors, chaplains and volunteers.

Doug explained that his mother's health declined further over the weekend and his son visited on Wednesday to be with her.

"My mother was trying to tell us she needed to go to the bathroom so we helped her," he said. "When I turned around to go back out, I saw my son crying and I realized that this is over with. This is unsustainable for me. I'd been up for three days practically straight, and I was losing. I just couldn't do it anymore."

Doug explained that the nurse returned to the room to check on his mother and sat down with him to share his concerns. The hospice staff takes a team approach to providing families with physical, spiritual, social and emotional support.

"She asked how I was doing and what she could do for me," he said. "I just needed someone to love me a little bit too. And now I could be her son and not be taking care of her. I was just so grateful to have that opportunity to just be her son."

After checking on his mother, the nurse explained to the family that the mother's passing could be on that day.

"I was still trying to catch up on sleep, and I just couldn't," Doug said. "I called my sister in Bloomington and we sat together with mom for an hour. After I went home, hospice called me at a quarter to one, and by the time I got back, my mom had passed.”

Doug explained that when he entered the room, the bed was beautifully made around her. The staff stepped away to let the family quietly have time with her.

"It was a perfect ending," he said. "One of the things about my mom is that she didn't want anyone else to know about her condition. It just was killing me not to tell her friends. She didn't want anyone making a fuss over her."

"If anyone is considering hospice, the first thing I would tell them is go take a look at Franciscan Hospice House," Doug said. "It's beautiful on the outside, and then when you walk in the inside you're just dumbfounded by how gorgeous and well-appointed it is."