Maintain Your Well-being As A New Dad

Fatherhood is a wonderful experience for many. Still, this time can feel a little scary for first-time dads mentally, emotionally and even physically. While some new parent stress is expected for you and your partner, don't ignore your well-being while raising your family.

Jason Hojnacki, Employee Assistance Program Therapist with Franciscan Health, explains how you can maintain your well-being as a new dad and start family building on the right foot.

What Common Challenges Do Men Face During The Transition To Fatherhood?

New fathers can face some pressure and challenges during the transition to parenthood, Hojnacki said.

"It's not just about me anymore," Hojnacki said. "It's not just about my wife or my girlfriend anymore. Now, it's about this other new person here. And my goodness, what do I do with this new person?"

He explained that even in the face of a new challenge, fathers will have hope to be a good dad.

How Can We Emotionally And Mentally Prepare To Be Parents?

Hojnacki explained that there are a couple ways to prepare for the mental strain that comes with being a new parent.

"With a good relationship with your partner, the two of you can talk together about concerns you have," Hojnacki said. "Also, if you have a role model in your life, it's okay to talk to them and ask for their words of wisdom about fatherhood."

Hojnacki also explained that soon-to-be fathers should attend a birthing class, where they'll go over the basics and learn about the first day home after birth.

How Can I Balance Work And Family As A New Dad?

"One of the things that I recommend, if at all possible, is that you actually take some time off of work," Hojnacki said. "Some people have a paid time off system, the Family Medical Leave Act, or even paternity leave."

Soon-to-be fathers should schedule these time-off options ahead of their partners' due date so they can enjoy time together as a new family.

"I think society has changed a little bit," Hojnacki said. "We want you both to be home as the child needs both of you. There's been a cultural shift to where more companies and more workplaces are agreeing to time off for new fathers."

How Can We Support Our Partner During Pregnancy And Postpartum?

Communication is vital to supporting your partner during and after pregnancy, Hojnacki said.

”If at all possible, prioritize communication," he said. "Ask your partner how they feel and if they need anything, for example. Having that ongoing conversation and openness can go a long way. When my fiancé was having some morning sickness, I always asked if she needed ginger ale or if she was having any weird cravings."

What Are Signs And Symptoms Of Postpartum Depression?

Postpartum depression affects nearly 20% of new moms, and it can impact dads as well.

Signs of postpartum depression can include:

• Sadness
• Crying
• Mood swings
• Failing concentration
• Sleeping troubles
• Irritability
• Lack of appetite

"One of the biggest things that I keep in mind is a personality change," Hojnacki said. "Look at your partner and see if something seems off about them."

For example, your partner may stay in bed longer instead of jumping up to play with the baby, he said. You may find your partner less interested in their usual hobbies at home, which can also be a sign of postpartum depression.

"The most obvious sign of postpartum depression is crying and tearfulness from your partner," Hojnacki said. "If your partner doesn't cry too often and then all of a sudden there's a lot of crying, it's certainly okay to ask how she's feeling."

How Can I Approach A Mental Health Talk With My Partner?

Having an ongoing dialogue with your partner is essential to approaching mental health as new parents.

"If you have a good relationship with your partner and you have good communications, your partner should be able to tell you when they're not doing great in one area or if something needs to change," Hojnacki said. "Still, if the husband or the dad notices that something is wrong first, you can start by asking if things are okay."

He explained how gently asking questions like these can start a proper conversation:

• How are you today?
• How's the baby?
• Are you feeling okay?

"And then, if the following conversation goes into more of a concern or something's not right, I also think it's okay to ask about the next doctor appointment and coming with her as support," Hojnacki said.

Are There Resources Or Support Systems For New Fathers Struggling With Mental Health?

Mental health can be a concern for anyone, including new fathers who are attempting to lead their growing families. Thankfully, there are support systems that assist new fathers struggling with their mental health.

"There are a couple different options," Hojnacki said. "Number one is the employee assistance program. We have many male employees at Franciscan Health that are welcome to come see me to talk about their worries as a new dad."

Hojnacki explained that new or soon-to-be fathers can work with their doctor to ensure that everything is physically okay as well.

"Another option is church," Hojnacki said. "Many churches have men's and father's groups that can assist them on their struggle with mental health and their journey through fatherhood."

He also explained that it's okay to feel overwhelmed throughout the process.

"It's okay to feel like your life is completely different," Hojnacki said. "The other thing to keep in mind is that people have been having children for thousands of years. So just like you, a lot of people go through this. It's all going to be okay."